What Happened to My Wagon?

I wish there was a better way to say it, but I'm going to fall back on the old cliche. I've fallen off the wagon - the exercise wagon, that is. I was going strong for weeks then let one little schedule interruption run me off the road. If I'm honest with myself - and whoever might be reading this - I'd have to say that's just par for the course for me. I'm gung ho out of the gate then I let the first turn drag me down.

I keep thinking tomorrow's the day, tomorrow I'm climbing up on that seat, grabbing the reins, and giddy-upping my way back to good habits. The problem is that the bad habits are much stronger than I am. At least two of them are - sugar and laziness. I've beaten cigarettes, drugs, and myriad other addictions but none had the power over me that sugar and laziness have.

I cringe at the word laziness. It plays into all of those fatty stereotypes that say we must be this size because we never do anything. Of course that is so absurdly untrue as to not warrant comment but still I feel compelled to point out my three children that I homeschool, the home I manage successfully, and the improvements/investments that I make in myself in other areas (like writing!)

All of that is dandy but why is it so hard to move more and stick to it?

I think the sticking to is the difficulty. There are lots of activities I would love to try: cross fit, rock climbing, roller skating - Heck, I've checked out a belly dancing fitness dvd from the library. I even want to learn to fight. Not the local Tae Kwon Do dojo stuff, I mean quick takedown, fighting for your life, Krav Maga stuff or maybe that Brazilian dance-looking stuff called Capoeira. Who's going to teach me though? Who's going to look past the belly that gets in my way constantly to see that my calves are pure sculpted muscle that could give a mule a run for its money in kicking power?

No one. People literally laugh at me when I use the words 'cross' and 'fit' together in a sentence.

But those people aren't the problem.

I AM THE PROBLEM.

I'm the one who doesn't get up to do it.

I'm the one who has checked out that belly dancing dvd twice for a total of six weeks time and never cracked open the case much less watched and participated.

It's all me. I know, but is knowing enough to get going again? Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see tomorrow morning.